At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
