im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
