Tell her she can't have a vagina
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
