Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
