Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
