You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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