Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
