What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
