Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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