I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
