We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
