He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
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Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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