I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
