please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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