apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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