dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize