He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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