he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
