So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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