Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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