It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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