I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So vagazzling was a success
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
