Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
