I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
