well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
