just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
