You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I am one with the molecules
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
