yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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