I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My Higher Power is John Stamos
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
