He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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