Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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