My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
