We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
