Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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