Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dick very happy bro
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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