brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We talked him into tasing himself.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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