Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
