That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm always down for nudity.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
