ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
