Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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