Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
