What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
