We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
