i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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