sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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