I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
