I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize