SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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