I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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