I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
