Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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