what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
