its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
