He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
