Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
