I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
