What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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