dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
