What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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