Will you blow on my dice?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
