It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You took a bar mat shot.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
