I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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