is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
