I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
