Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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