I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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