So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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