hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
