It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
