me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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