She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize