So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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